The soul crushing fun of opening a bank account

Today I opened a bank account. It was an absurd experience.

Here’s a taste of a spirited dialogue I had with the clerk, and later, the manager:

- So you’re charging me to deposit money with you?

- Yes, that’s right.

- And when I deposit money, lend you essentially, you give me 0% in interest, but when I borrow money from you I pay you 6.5%??

- Yes, but during the last wave of the pandemic it was 12%…

- It’s a terrible deal in either case!

- Well, in all the other banks it’s the same. Just ask around, they’re no different.

- Are you saying you work like a cartel?

- * Gazes around the room then clears his throat, and shuffles some paper*.

- Another question… the Go-Green account costs more than the normal one, is that right?

- yes *stares into screen*

- so I pay extra so that you don’t invest my money in the destruction of the planet?

- *distractedly, eyes on screen* oh yeah, it’s a new policy which we’re excited to offer.

(Postscript: In the end the clerk had to call the manager to help explain things to me: “I can assure you”, he assured me, “we are not running an unethical business”).